Sunday, September 13, 2009

Are you a Creepy Republican Guy?

Too funny not to share

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ARE YOU A CREEPY REPUBLICAN GUY?

If you are a male and active in Republican politics, answer the following questions to determine whether or not you creep women out. If you answer yes to at least 2 of the following questions, you need to examine your behavior. It may not be fair, but we are living in a politically correct era and the definitions of stalking and harassment have been expanded. There is a certain level of behavior in Republican circles that goes beyond simple friendship into creepiness, and you need to be aware of what it is or risk being the talk of Republican women around the water cooler.

PRELIMINARY DISQUALIFIER:

Are you as good looking as George Clooney, and do almost all women you meet want to go out with you? If you answered yes, stop right there, you don't need this test, you are not a CREEPY REPUBLICAN GUY.

THE QUIZ: ANSWER YES OR NO

1) Do you find yourself calling or texting attractive women frequently and finding they don't respond half the time?

2) Do you give attractive women big, lingering hugs, and maybe even a kiss on the cheek every time you see them or say good-bye? Just because YOU traditionally like to do this, doesn't make it right, the odds are half the women can't stand it.

3) Do you give attractive women compliments frequently?

4) Do you go up to female after female at social events when drinking (making it obvious to the other women there that you are trying to score)?

5) When an attractive female turns you down when you ask her to hang out, do you jump right in and suggest an alternative, badgering her into saying yes so she'll hang out with you?

6) Are you always trying to catch attractive women's eyes, looking at them every time they look up at a meeting? That is completely obnoxious by the way.

7) Are you married? If so, that's even worse.

If you answered YES to 2 or more of these, you need to adjust your behavior. If women decline to hang out with you, and give you a fishy excuse, it is most likely because they find you a CREEPY REPUBLICAN GUY. You do not then suggest something else to do with them! That is amplifying the creepy behavior. Do not call them and text them constantly. That doesn't make them like you any more, it has the reverse effect and makes them dislike you more. Guys, it comes down to this: if a woman does not find you appealing, she doesn't like to hear your overdosage of compliments, phone calls, invites, etc. Keep it professional - or risk getting a reputation as a CREEPY REPUBLICAN GUY.

2 comments:

Stormy said...

After reading your "test" I have concluded that I am NOT a "creepy Republican guy" and also that you are not an intellectual, I'm having serious doubts that you are even a Conservative. You sound like a stuck-up SNOB !

IQonefortyfour said...

IQonefortyfour

Seeing as how there are too few real, clean cut, all-American males left, due to feminization. Being a well-socialized American male who managed to grow up properly, testosterone intact, and can dance and karaoke ~ love women of all ages, let me say be kind to lesser males, some may be salvageable. I passed your test. Now what